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Just Dance

May 27, 2009
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Well, at least I thought it was what that was about. It seems I missed the memo where 7 year old were all of a sudden prima ballerinas at a prestigious, world-renowned ballet company. And apparently, “there are no bangs in ballet”. No, I really didn’t make that up.

Dress rehearsal yesterday I am waiting backstage with Abby until it’s time for them to go on. After I prevent her from inciting a mutiny amongst her fellow little princesses (she was trying to organize the girls into a coup of sorts as she felt that her class really should have been the fairies instead. Better costumes and they were better dancers, etc. I thought she was going to stage a princess walk out). Next thing I know I am in the audience and Abby has her crown on and her bangs look like an overly mertrosexual man got ahold of them with some super glue, super stand mixture. And she looks a trifle traumatized.

I’m also a little bummed that they don’t let the smaller kids have super fancy sparkly costumes. I mean, isn’t that the main reason to take dance? That and to wear makeup? Which is another reason why I am a freakjob, seems they can only wear blue eyeshadow and red lipstick. Something or other to do with lighting-I quit paying attention. But I perked back up again when her teacher mentioned that since most normal people don’t wear red lipstick (since when?), that if you buy one now you can use it until they go to college. Okay first, I adore red lipstick and have about 15 from which to choose. Second, from first grade to senior year? Gross. Would you like a little lip bacteria or mold with that tiara and those point shoes?

But honestly? It’s the sparkles I am interested in. We ran by Bloom yesterday, since Abby waited until about 20 minutes prior to dress rehearsal to tell me she needs new tights and I happened to find the most fabulous faux eyelashes, one of my absolute favorite things ever anyways. But these! These had rhinestones along the lashline. Love them. Not glitter, rhinestones. Now I need somewhere to wear them. I think they may be a bit much for our drive thru Cullman to Camp McDowell this weekend. And a possible driving hazard.

So we take group pics, and really some of these moms just need to relax and get a life. They’re kids. It’s dance. It should be fun. But it seems I am the freakjob for just wanting Abby to have fun, do her best, and learn a little. As we are leaving, one such mom chases me down to tell me I have to get Abby’s bangs slicked back because-you got it! There are no bangs in ballet and if I don’t get them slicked perfectly back then her teacher will “torture” her when she gets back to make sure she has no bangs under her plastic glitter crown. Cause bangs would have totally ruined that look. I do have to love the mom that went with stripper glitter body lotion as a hair balm. It kindof looked like spilled glitter and half dry Elmer’s. I wonder how that came out?

I leave Abby at my parents to go and grab some flowers for her and again-why did I quit dancing in 5th grade? As I was cradling her ginormous bouquet of pink roses and white daisies, I suddenly had visions of myself in a sparkly tutu and the biggest tiara you’ve ever seen, standing on stage to a standing ovation. At this point, I’m also a little shocked I never did pageants. Or stripping. I mean, all of those things involve stages and shiny stuff.  (And we all know shiny is my favorite color). The latter maybe not so much flowers and ovations (unless you’re really flexible) but hey, a girl can dream.

Since I am obviously not going to take up dance or pageants (or stripping in case any of you had lingering questions about that) at the age of 32, I’m truly a little surprised that I never gave the thought of ballroom dancing a whirl. That’s GOT to have more sparkly stuff per inch  or minute or however you want to measure it then any other hobby. Wonder if J would go for it? Can you picture him in some of those ballroom outfits a la Dancing with the Stars?

© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
2 Comments leave one →
  1. Jennifer House permalink
    June 2, 2009 9:54 PM

    I know “blogging” is the thing to do but have you ever thought about putting all of your “essays” together and submitting them to a publisher? You truly are so funny to read and I totally identify with you! I too love all things shiny, sparkly and glittery. I can come up with many reasons and occassions to wear rhinestones and feathers. Body glitter? LOVE IT! Never thought about the occupations I could have had that would have allowed me to wear these things daily – stripping was ingenious of you! Not only glitter and feathers but really shiny, really high heels!!! Plus, think of the extra spending money. Anyway, I do enjoy your blog and would encourage you to think about sending out manuscripts. I’d love to be your unofficial editor! (ignore any spelling errors in the previous! I do truly edit well!)

  2. amyblam permalink
    June 3, 2009 10:12 AM

    You are too kind! I appreciate it! If I ever figure out how to find a publisher (or quit watching bad tv/reading/hanging out at the pool long enough to do so), you can totally edit! 🙂
    I used to write and do competitions and stuff al the time but once you are out of school, seems harder to find.

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