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Southern Fried Snark Tried to Kill Me. Well…not exactly.

April 3, 2010

So Gellman and the Snarkettes are now on the very long list of people/things/inanimate objects (I’m talking to you stairs and numerous flat surfaces) that are out to get me.

Awesome.

First, if you don’t check out their shows on Tuesday and Thursday nights-you are SO missing out.

However, do so at your own peril as they have fabulous contests that will make you consider doing some crazy shit (not really if you’re normal and not a competitive, ocd, over achiever like me).

Anyhoo-they have a billboard. Fantasticness-no?

But there’s a catch-it’s one of those new-fangled fancy-like digital ones that rotates different advertisers. They have 10 seconds of every minute. On their show Tuesday night they announce that the first person to take a picture of the billboard and send it to them wins an Amazon gift card. I immediately am overcome with excitement bubbling up in my little (figure of speech people) tummy. I am in love with the Amazon, especially now that I have a Kindle and can automatically download books to it in my sleep or drunk. I can so win this. I have LOTS of free time and I live relatively close to wear the billboard is. EXCEPT you can really see it perfectly from the top of a much traveled overpass. It’s the optimum vantage point-you are almost eye to eye with their cartoon larger than life heads.

Crap.

I IM the Snarkettes (I’m pretty sure I’m the only person that calls them that but it does make me envision them in sequined dresses with fake hair done up in bouffants singing backup to Gellman while he sports a blue sparkly tux) that I am not allowed to stop in the middle of the road to take pictures (ANYMORE) and they immediately disqualified me from the contest. Hmph. So this would be the part where they tried to actually not do me any harm.

BUT, since they know me and should have known better than to even discuss this when I was watching them, it really didn’t do any good. Because even though I was disqualified from the contest I, obviously, wanted to still see it.

As I drive down the road, caked thick with cars, and approach the overpass that leads up to the BPBVS (best possible billboard viewing site) I slow to a crawl. A 30 MPH crawl on a road where I normally drive 70 MPH. There is swerving and honking and I am pretty sure an old, half-blind man gave me the bird and, like everything else in life, I hit the rotation at the very beginning so the girls’ billboard is last.

Typical.

And here’s where they tried to kill me. They didn’t warn me the billboard was going to CHANGE. Like, yesterday it talked about their iPAD giveaway in April. So I HAD to slow down to read it.

Those biatches totally have it in for me.

© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 4, 2010 1:04 AM

    Thank you for coming by 504 Main. I have a great image in my mind of what the snarkettes look like..too funny. So sorry you were disqualified and got the bird from the half-blind man. Love your writing. I will so be back/be subscribing!

  2. April 4, 2010 10:00 AM

    Oh my gosh I can’t even believe that! Crazy!

  3. April 4, 2010 6:37 PM

    I teach a few young ladies who could be labeled as “snarkettes.” Hope the Easter Bunny put something extra-special in your basket today!

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