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Internet assholes, and why I’m so pissed.

May 26, 2010

While browsing the internet today I came across a comment about me in a blog I’ve never read by someone I’ve never met (who actually happens to live in the same town I do, oddly enough. Clearly we don’t run in the same circles.) And she said this:

Jennifer I’m with you on that! And I don’t think your opinions are vitriol, your delivery might be a little harsh, but the opinions themselves are not. You do make me curious to hear what you have to say to self-righteous parents, but perhaps I shouldn’t tempt you 🙂  Along the same lines, I won’t recommend you read Amy’s Blam (www.amyblam.com) simply because I’d enjoy reading your comments on her posts. Especially don’t read My work as a mom is done. I’m super efficient like that – you might explode

Now I have long been warned that there are lots of mean assholes on the internet-I had just never come across one until now. And for all you bloggers who I LOVE that post about their kids and everything-I think it’s awesome that you guys do that, it’s just outside my comfort zone (Shocking for you all to find that I have one I’m sure.)

And her blog, complete with fairies-I am so not even kidding, is one that’s pretty much all about being a housewife. And you know what? That’s her blog-she can do with it what she wants. I’m all about people making their own choices and doing their own thing-which I think is why I was so pissed when I came across the above. And shocked. And possibly a little hurt.

Her blog reminded me of what my lovely blog friend Ericka over at Alabaster Cow has done with her Shits and Giggles idea. Being a mom doesn’t mean you have to be all mom all the time. You can still be funny and sexy and crazy sometimes and yes, laugh at yourself and not take yourself seriously. And if you do take constantly take yourself seriously? I’m not sure how you can get through it and be a good mom without going nuts (and not in a fun way.)

So I posted this response to the post at Dude and Sweetie, which is a good and not intended to be funny parenting post.

Hey, this is Amy of the above trashed Amy’s Blam.
And? I pretty much agree with everything the author says in this post because? I’m pretty much the strictest mom on the planet. My child has more rules and such than ANY other kid I know.
We spend most of our time together as a family, I’m often told I’m the meanest mom ever for all the things I won’t let her do that her friends do. I pulled her out of a dance school because I thought their costumes were inappropriate.
And I have a fantastic kid who gets straight A’s, uses her ma’ams and sirs, is helpful and kind and just got put into her school’s gifted program. And she was one of the few in her grade.
My blog? Is a HUMOR blog-I don’t talk about my child seriously or post pictures or even refer to her by name because the world is SCARY and there happen to be crazy people out there, unfortunately, who lurk around the internet and are just sucktastic.
I’m not a serious parenting, or anything blog, which is why EVERY blog I’ve ever posted is tagged with HUMOR. Which some people may need a sense of.

 And because I’m fair and since talking about people without their knowledge is one thing not on my long list of faults (on my long list of faults? Not being able to let things go. Clearly), I did give her fair warning-since she has no way to email her I put the comment on her blog so I posted it with this preface:

Since you have no way to contact you and in case you miss my reply on dude and sweetie, here it is. But first, really? How dare you? To criticize someone you don’t even know? And who’s watching your child while you trash strangers on the internet? Being judgemental, cowardly and cruel are fine parenting examples to set. I don’t ever say anything about a person that I wouldn’t say to them-which is why I’m addressing it here.
(And making sure you know about it. In addition to being a fantastic mom-I’m also not a coward.)

And really? My lovely fabulous readers? Have any of you had a problem understanding this is a HUMOR blog? I may fail at it at times but I’m pretty clear that’s what my goal is at any rate. Are you REALLY going to take someone seriously who’s About Me photo is them in a pink feather boa wearing a crown her hubs bought her at a Mardi Gras store in New Orleans?

Anyone else had to deal with internet assholes?

And shit ya’ll, this will be my first post, I think, EVER without a humor tag. Because messing with me and my kid? Really pisses me off.

© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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45 Comments leave one →
  1. May 26, 2010 10:54 AM

    But she’s a MOMMY!!!1!! And she takes teh parenting job SERIOSULY!!!!

    Good Lord.

    Sad day when someone can’t find the humor in the mundane. One thing my children will absolutely know how to do when they escape the Maximum Security Facility I provide for them is they will know how to LAUGH. Because a life without laughter just isn’t a life.

    Betcha your hater doesn’t laugh as much as we do. She probably *thinks* she does, but pretty sure she takes life pretty freakin’ seriously. Her loss.

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 26, 2010 11:05 AM

      When I unchain Abby from the basement pipe I keep her attached to, I’m sure she will have an excellent sense of humor. Well shit, Elaine. Now someone is probably going to call DHR on us.

      • May 26, 2010 11:07 AM

        Wow. Only the basement pipe? You’re nicer than I am. I chain mine standing up to the railing on the way down. So they can’t sit. They get to think about their behavior more that way since sleep isn’t really possible. You know, since they’re not horses and don’t sleep standing up. In case you didn’t get that.

        Always feel the need to explain my jokes. Maybe that’s why I’m not that funny.

        Hmm.

        Thoughts to ponder.

  2. May 26, 2010 10:55 AM

    No. Way. No effing way. I would have lost my everlovin’ mind had I seen a comment about me somewhere like that. Or about anyone for that matter.

    How inappropriate. And good for you for addressing it with her.

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 26, 2010 11:06 AM

      Seriously, I would NEVER post a comment saying hey this person sucks, you shouldn’t read her blog. Cause I’m not self-righteous like that. I make plenty of mistakes, I just laugh about them.

  3. May 26, 2010 10:55 AM

    Hi Amy. This is Jennifer, the one about whom you wrote this post. I don’t know if you read the comment I left after yours on my blog, so I wanted to come here to comment too. For one thing, I had no idea you would even care so much. Your blog has such an air of “I don’t care what others think” that it never occurred to me you would spend so much effort to hunt me down. I mean that in the sincerest way possible! I’m sorry I hurt your feelings with my comment.

    I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and usually find it pretty funny. I wasn’t quite sure how to take the post I referenced. I sometimes feel that your humor is more negatively focused and so perhaps that was the source of my misunderstanding. Perhaps you don’t realize that someone who only reads your blog (and doesn’t know you in person) may never know what a great mom you are.

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 26, 2010 11:36 AM

      I just left a response to your not so nice post after some of my readers were all, hey-she acted apologetic and then was ugly AGAIN. I’m posting it so my readers don’t have to travel, unless they want to. And really? I actually thought it was pretty cool of you to come here and reply. For the most part? I don’t care what people think. I’ve always pretty much done my own thing. The one thing that I do care about is my family. And I think you said it best yourself above when you said “someone who only reads your blog and doesn’t know you in person.” Which is exactly why you have no business talking about people you don’t know. My blog isn’t about being an amzaing mom, which I am, people get enough of that already. I like to make people laugh.
      And, as I mentionned, never in a million years would I EVER go somewhere and talk about someone else’s blog in a negative way.

      It’s not much effort to click the highlighted name by someone’s comment to find their blog.
      And I wasn’t being ugly about you being a housewife-I use the phrase “pretty much” quite frequently in front of LOTS of things I say. I’m pretty much a housewife, I work part-time and schedule everything around being with my family. I was just telling people what your blog was about and it seems to be all about being a houeswife and mom-which is cool. That’s just not what I blog about.
      I was about to update my post and say that it was cool that you responded but then a bunch of my readers told me to come read your latest post.
      Your original comment about me wasn’t dry-it was cruel. There’s a difference.
      I’m funny and am sarcastic and, depsite being one of the happiest people I know, I can still find amusement in the ridiculous or frustrating.
      You can’t go talk badly about people and expect it not to come back to you.

  4. Jessica permalink
    May 26, 2010 11:10 AM

    In addition to not recognizing “Humor”, I don’t think she understands how public blogging is. Who, except someone living in a fairy la-la land, posts so much detail about their new home IN A PUBLIC FORUM? [Serious moment– she really is sharing way too much information. I hope this will help her realize there are kooks out there– and I don’t mean Amy!]

    Amy, don’t change a thing about your fabulousness. I live across the country and can see from here what an awesome, caring, supportive (and, yes, strict) mom you are!

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 26, 2010 11:28 AM

      I would like to sincerely thank you for pointing out that I am not one of the kooks who you are currently referring to. Cause let’s face it? I have my moments.

      • May 26, 2010 12:56 PM

        I too am Huntsville based blogger. I largely remain anonymous and my blog is less of a public forum such as yours, and more of a personal Tumblr that people follow. With that being said I uber super duper agree with this point, and thought it before this comment. I checked her blog out and as you mentioned before, there are sicko’s in the world and with that being said anyone and everyone now knows A) exactly where she will live (I could drive there right now) b) her name c) her basic background and information d) What she, her husband, and children look like, E) her wedding date f) general schedule g) the real estate company she bought with etc.

        I gathered this from the blog, posts, and pictures just looking for about 3 minutes. I’m not one of those creepy people either but not even being a pro I promise you it’s an identity theft waiting to happen. Not to mention the genuine danger she has put her family in! It’s sad really!

  5. Jenny permalink
    May 26, 2010 11:10 AM

    Amy – you are hilarious and anyone that doesn’t see that has serious problems (or, for that matter, the people that have to hang out with them are really bored). I was just having this conversation with a friend the other day. There are so many categories that we all pigeon-hole ourselves as well as others in. Mothers are the worst. There are constant struggles between older moms vs. newer moms; breast feeding moms vs. bottle moms; organic food moms vs. preservatives? moms; working moms vs. stay-at-home moms. It’s human nature to add and delete people from any given circle. Otherwise, too many people in that circle.
    I for one, am glad that you are part of my circle and that I can relate to you. I personally think that fairies are stupid and that the aforementioned blog is boring. Thanks for all you do! I prefer laughing 🙂

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 26, 2010 11:29 AM

      Jenny-you have been fabulous as long as I have known you! Which is forever! When are you starting your blog?

      • Jenny permalink
        May 26, 2010 2:10 PM

        Not sure… I am a coward and considering this situation, I would get my feelings hurt as well as draw a lot of criticism for the things that go through my head. I’d like to meet for lunch or something to ask you questions!

      • Jenny permalink
        May 26, 2010 2:12 PM

        But you are right – I am fabulous and so, my dear, are you!

      • amyblam permalink*
        May 26, 2010 6:43 PM

        Yes, lunch for sure! And thank you again.

  6. May 26, 2010 11:42 AM

    Well, Amy, I’m still sorry I hurt your feelings. I did not ever mean that comment to hurt you in any way. You know? I think I was a little curious how Jess from Dude & Sweetie would respond to your blog more than anything else. She probably thinks I’m an internet crazy anyway, from a comment I left in the past (that had nothing to do with you or anyone else, btw).

    I’m not sure if you’ll accept my apology, but I hold no hard feelings towards you either way.

  7. May 26, 2010 11:46 AM

    yeah if anyone said anything negative about my parenting i’d be hurt, too. but then again considering the content on my blog i’m sure everyone thinks i’m a negligent drunk of a parent. little do they know, that’s true only on the weekends. :p

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 28, 2010 10:44 AM

      Only people with no sense of humor would think that of you! Um, yeah-so there may be a few out there. But they suck.

  8. May 26, 2010 11:46 AM

    Aww, honey, I’m sorry. You know, parenting is TOTALLY like assholes. Or opinions. Or something where we all have one but they probably don’t look like anyone else’s.

    People can be thoughtless. The important thing is to know that you love your Bratchild, we all admit that sometimes parenting sucks, and that you’re funny and fabulous and I love knowing you and calling you a friend.

    Also, I would LOVE for my child to turn out half as fabulous as your baby.

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 28, 2010 10:44 AM

      And you are a really fantabulous friend. Despite having to lunch with your hubs on the day he turns old and stuff.

  9. May 26, 2010 11:55 AM

    Phew. Well, I read the post she commented on (good), her comment (nasty) and her blog (meh)…and have to say, I think she just learned a valuable lesson. One her mother should have taught her. If you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say it.

    Especially online.

  10. May 26, 2010 11:56 AM

    Oh, and you? Are one fantastically funny lady, and I’d be willing to bet, one hell of a mom. Don’t let it get to you.

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 26, 2010 6:44 PM

      You are the bomb. For real!

  11. May 26, 2010 12:44 PM

    After he reviewed the original comment, my husband told me what y’all are already saying: I messed up and should have realized that no one could interpret it the way I thought I meant. Amy, I apologize anew. I’ve deleted the offending post from my own blog. I was going to delete the comment from Jess’ blog until I realized that it would put your comment completely without context. I will delete it if you’d like me to.

    As for the rest of the commentors, whether I really am naive, or stupid, or whatever, I think you’ve said some rather mean things about me. I know you thought I deserved it, but the nastiness still hurts. How you can sympathize with Amy while doing to ME what you thought I did to HER, I don’t understand. Not that it really matters, I realize, since tomorrow we’ll all be back to blogging about our different things and our paths will probably never cross again.

    Anyway, Amy, let me know if you want me to delete my awful comment.

  12. May 26, 2010 1:01 PM

    Damn this got viral quick! go internet! Yippy #HSV bloggers!

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 26, 2010 6:45 PM

      I know, I’m a little shocked! People generally only come here this much when I have done something really stupid and funny.

  13. May 26, 2010 2:40 PM

    Hi! Jess from DudeandSweetie here!

    So. Um. Yeah. I’m not quite sure what to do here. Internet etiquette and all.

    I hate that mine and your only interaction is from a series of comments and links and blah blah…and that it started in a negative way. I’ve never been to your site (and since all this CHAOS did read the referenced post and truly enjoyed it), and so I hope we’re cool.

    I write sarcastic, and obnoxious, and tend towards making fun of myself, but I don’t ever reference others’ negatively. Sorry that you were, if inadvertantly.

    🙂

    • May 26, 2010 2:41 PM

      And on that last comment I totally mistyped my own website address. Nice.

      • amyblam permalink*
        May 26, 2010 8:50 PM

        On no-I am NOT upset with you even a little bit. And thank you for your kind words!
        In a way, I’m kindof glad it led me to your site as I really enjoyed it and think the look is fab!

  14. May 26, 2010 3:03 PM

    Your reply right there has made me your newest follower.

    I don’t know why people are the way they are…but I love finding my peeps like alabaster cow.

    Being a mom shouldn’t make you lose your sense of humor. I’d rather have a happy home than a sparkling clean, orderly, by the book, home.

    SO, I’m yours…and alabaster’s., too.

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 26, 2010 8:51 PM

      Thank you, thank you! And Alabaster Cow rocks. I’m off to check out your site.

  15. Melissa J permalink
    May 26, 2010 3:31 PM

    Amy,
    Just got through reading everything connected with your blog and I just have to say that you are a wonderful mother! I feel I know you better then most people since you are my sister and I have known you my whole life! you are not only an amazing mother but a wonderful sister and friend and you have every right to be upset and offended about the post.

    I will also say that you are an amazing writer and you always have been…every blog I read of yours is hilarious and I feel it is always clear when you are being funny or sarcastic or serious…or any other emotion…

    and I have also never met such a kind, well-adjusted, intelligent child as Bratchild! she is just as amazing as you!

    love you….miss

  16. May 26, 2010 8:02 PM

    I just recently found your blog, and, in fact, I spent much of my work day (shh don’t tell my bosses) reading your archives. Hilarious. I am not much of a blog commenter, but I have to say. You handled this way better than most. I can’t imagine seeing something so random from someone you don’t know. How rude and hurtful. Anyways, just showing some support.

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 28, 2010 10:47 AM

      Thank you for reading AND for the support. My boss would be traumatized if she knew how much time I spend on the internet. Except…I’m pretty much my own boss. I should fire myself-or at least put myself on probation. Maybe a written warning?

  17. May 26, 2010 9:15 PM

    I don’t know why, but somehow I keep losing your feed in my reader and that really bums me out, because your blog is one of my favoritos. I’m glad you dropped by and posted on mine today. I need to get to the bottom of this!

    Sorry you had a tough day today. Girl, you have a super entertaining blog and don’t change a thing about what you do for anyone or any reason unless YOU decide it’s the right thing. 🙂

    xoxo

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 28, 2010 10:47 AM

      You had dropped out of my reader too but you reappeared today in time for Friday Flip Offs and that made me HAPPY!
      Thanks for the support!

  18. Pamela *Amy and Melissa's Mother Extraordinaire* permalink
    May 26, 2010 9:24 PM

    My Darlin’ Girl – I have raised you fabulously and I am extremely proud of you as a woman, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend and most especially as a mother yourself. You and my Darling BratChild (which you and you sister were frequently called) are smart, funny, savvy people who get it. Remember Bratchild’s comment about “girls that want big breasts to get boys is wrong cause the boys only like them for their boobies.” You and I were hysterical in the car and we know women both of our ages who have not learned that lesson yet and she knows it at eight! However, my main annoyance is a long-held one; why why why do women have to make negative comments about another woman who is doing the best she can with what she has and what she knows? Come on, I’m a child of the 60’s and I burned my bra and tried to ride a bus to the South to register people to vote (before parental figure pulled roommate and I off said bus) and I am a original card-carrying member of NOW and one of the things we fought so hard for was of course equality in the workplace (which we still do not have) but the freedom for women to be what they wanted to be. And, here we are 45 years later still putting each other down for humor? Come on, it is the way we cope in this family. We are completely irreverent always have been always will be. You know what my obit is going to be, forget beloved wife and dedicated mother, I want people to know that I had an outrageously good time in this life and went out with a party. Poor souls that cannot laugh at themselves. I know you don’t care about what people say or think, and yes attacking family is despicable. Perhaps sad person should read you more often or perhaps meet you and find out how delightfully outrageous you are! Love you and a big “atta-girl” for sticking up for yourself!

  19. May 27, 2010 4:10 AM

    People suck. Believe it or not I’ve had some trouble with my family – MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD – because they wonder where Rougie ends and the real me begins. Not that my blog is fiction. Everything I put out theres is real. But when I write that I puked a little in my mouth? Well please – don’t take that literally. Along with a few other things I put out there. Humor in writing is a wonderful tool. I alway tell people that sometimes I exaggerate for effect. It’s like wearing extra make-up when you go on TV. Anyways – my point is: this blog is by you, for you and about you. Keep doing it in your own sparkly, irreverent style because it’s awesome. If someone doesn’t like it, there is an entire blogosphere to choose from. Also? I kind of want you to be my mom. Even though you’re younger than me. But that whole curlers/robe/giant sunglasses school pick up (which was one of the first posts I read) was nothing short of awesome. Hugs!

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 28, 2010 10:48 AM

      I will come pick you up at school on that ensemble ANY TIME.

  20. May 27, 2010 9:33 AM

    Oh My Girl! I have so much to say here.

    First of all, you are one of my favorite bloggers out there. I’m pretty sure I told you that the day I found your blog and essentially told you I was in love with you.

    You are one of the big reasons I love blogging. You’re smart and snorting out the nose funny. You’re sarcastic and tongue in cheek and you just elevate the role of being a wife and a mommy and a woman to such beautiful and hilarious levels that I leave this place of pink every time with an ear-splitting grin.

    I, too, as you know, am a tongue in cheek girl.

    When I call my daughters dung beetles, I don’t really mean it.

    When I say, my favorite child is the one who brings me the glass of wine first, I really don’t mean it.

    And those sort of things should not have to be explained. And it is very sad that they do.

    And you, my darling, darling girl, owe no one an explanation when it comes to your mothering skills. The fabulous mother and lady you are, shines so vividly in and around and behind your hilarious words and anyone with any sort of intelligence, ahem, can see that.

    I am often quite saddened at the people who walk around this planet taking everything they see at face value, ready to lash out with their overeager judgment calls. I feel great pity for humorless souls. Life’s too short not to find joy in just about everything. And this bloggy universe, sure has its fair share of judgey, joyless folks.

    I detest the high school atmosphere that permeates blogdom and it is those very kind of bloggers who seem to be stirring up the trouble.

    I stay out of the drama, because it’s not worth my time and effort. It’s not what I’m here for. But, this Beautiful Girl, I could not ignore.

    You just keep on keepin’ on with your bad self, Baby. Those of us with half a brain, get it.

    And for the record, whatever your name is, you have no right calling out any of us as mean-spirited. You went behind a great blogger’s back, someone who blogs with integrity and fun and incredible writing skills and talked trash about them. So uncool. Then, you apologized, adding extra venom to your “sorry”. Super, super uncool. Don’t whine when you’re the one who caused this. We are women, noble and beautiful. we should be holding each other up, not tearing each other down.

    And if you want to come over to my blog and bash me, Bring. It. On. Do you see Amy and Surfer Wife and Alexandra, The Empress and my girl Gigi up there? We are all best bloggy friends. And there’s a host of a lot others just like us out there who say funny things we really don’t mean about our kids and laugh and have fun and most importantly never judge and love one another for who we are.

    I had no idea there was all this drama nonsense going on over here.

    I came over her to see what Amy was up to and tell her how much I loved the comment she left on my blog. Because in my blog, I was talking about how uncomfortable it must be to have sex in the front seat of a car. That’s right. *Gasp.* And Amy responded that a hammock is even worse.

    And that is why I love her.

    So, Amy don’t let the haters get you down, Baby.

    I’m sorry.

    But, I love you and the rest of my fabulous, funny, joyous blog friends.

    Oh, and I LOVE your momma, too.

    • amyblam permalink*
      May 28, 2010 10:49 AM

      Thank you thank you thank you! for the email and one of the BEST comments ever. You, and your blog, are amazing!

  21. May 28, 2010 5:20 PM

    I came over from kludgymoms flip offs and just had to comment that I enjoy people like you that use humor. It’s the way to be. I dislike people who have to make life miserable for others, and say bad things. I would never ever tell people not to read a certain site. That is their own perogative. If I was following someone that was a debbie downer type blog all the time, because we all know that sometimes we have downs, I would just “unfollow” them. I need humor to get through this crazy world.

  22. May 29, 2010 1:47 PM

    Here here! You go girl! I’m stopping by from the tea party and I have to say I love your style and completely appreciate your humor. I can’t stand people who are too uptight to take a joke. I started a newlywed blog a few months ago and its got more of a humorous edge to it as well. Shortly after I started it, I heard rumors that some of the prissy Upper east and West Siders (where I live) that secretly read my blog, were talking about how my marriage is such a joke. Grrrrr! What is wrong with people that can’t comprehend the meaning of sarcasm, exaggeration, and just plain humor.
    Keep up the good work and I love your blog :-).

  23. May 30, 2010 9:44 PM

    Stopping by from Blog Flow…

    I haven’t had any problems…yet! I have heard that fellow bloggers have a tendency to bash each other (read an article all about mommy bloggers & I have never seen so many catty women in my life! One woman literally started a blog in order to try & “destroy” another woman’s blog…I was speechless!)

    Anywho….

    I think your blog is hilarious! Glad I found it!

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:24 PM

      I’ve heard of similar things and was shocked. I mean, I might be a bitch but I’m rarely rude and would NEVER post bad things about someone else’s blog.

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