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Friday Flip-Offs 5/28

May 28, 2010

”KludgyMom”

Kludgy Mom is another one of my favorite bloggers and Friday Flip-Offs is one of her most genius ideas.

So today I am posting my own:

1. To the jackass at the airport that almost hit bratchild and I. Seriously. We backed up to pull into a space and he tore across 3 lanes to cut us off and get into the space-there were others. The well-mannered lady standing next to her car almost got hit as well. And when I went to tell him, “Thanks for scaring my kid half to death and almost hitting us, learn to drive dick,” he just looked at me and lit his pipe. AND walked away from his car when ALL signs say you HAVE to wait with your vehicle. Plus? He was wearing very un-cute sweatpants.

2. To the pedophile-door checker at Sam’s. Ummm…ewwww. Thanks for drawing a “cartoon” of bratchild with her mouth open and her tongue hanging out. You are unbearably creepy. And you hacked off the long line of people behind us waiting to check out.

3. Lilly Pulitzer-normally I love ya but your continuing size-ist practices are pissing me off. It annoys me more than I can say that certain super-cute dresses are only offered up to a 10. Who are you to judge what “big people” should wear?  And yes, I have been addressing this with your lovely employee “just jack” for awhile now.

4. To The Great American Cookie Company who charges $30 for an effing cookie cake and then won’t give you a plastic knife to take with you to cut it. Also? The cookie was mostly raw.

A HUGE ginormous NON-flip off to all the AMAZING bloggers and folks out there who reminded me how much I love blogging and the internets.

Hope ya’ll have a non-middle finger filled weekend!

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28 Comments leave one →
  1. May 28, 2010 9:55 AM

    loving that you call your kiddo “bratchild”….i call my oldest “mouth”, cause he never shuts up! good FFO’s, and i also read internet assholes…i am so impressed with your witty retort, way to go!!

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:32 PM

      Mouth is a good one-as she ages I may have to use that.

  2. May 28, 2010 11:47 AM

    Still gazing at you with stars in my eyes over your response to that mess at the unmentionable blog (why plug ’em)

    Who the heck does she even think she is????

    Glad I dont’ live in her house.

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:32 PM

      I have some star-gazing eyes just due to the fabulousness of your blog!

  3. May 28, 2010 1:03 PM

    OMG, I TOTALLY said the same thing about that guy at Sam’s last weekend! I was telling Michael that he was probably a pedophile and he was making people wait WAY to long so that he could draw smiley faces!

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:31 PM

      It makes me feel less crazy when people agree with me.

  4. May 28, 2010 1:04 PM

    You have the creepy greeter at Sam’s club too?!?! They must have a secret society or something! Love your flips, love your blog, love your humor! Great work;)

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:31 PM

      Thanks! I didn’t realize the Sam’s greeter was a nationwide epidemic-sheesh.

  5. May 28, 2010 1:25 PM

    You may eat paste, cuz everyone else’s badge is working, girl :). but I love you for participating anyway. XOXO!

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:30 PM

      I can’t make Ericka’s shits and giggles badge work either and I can’t figure it out!

  6. May 28, 2010 4:31 PM

    Had to stop by to check out your FFOs. Brilliantly done. I’d like to call my kids bratchild at times- thanks for doing it for me. And the cookie company who gives raw dough and no knife- flip from me too.

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:29 PM

      When I called to say that maybe they could bake for more then 5 minutes at 100 degress, they were all oh most people like them soft. Soft and raw are different.

  7. May 28, 2010 5:05 PM

    That guy at the airport was just wrong. I hate people like that. I’m flipping off right with you.

    And creepy pedophile. I hate when you just get that overwhelming feeling of yuk that eminates from some people.

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:28 PM

      And I’m wondering how the Sam’s hiring peeps did NOT notice.

  8. May 29, 2010 12:26 PM

    Okay, LOVE that you call your kid “brat child”, as I call mine a monster, so we’re instant friends!

    And why would anybody send a cookie cake with no knife? People are just dumb, I’m tellin’ ya!

    I’ll be back for another visit because you’re very funny – and my kind of people. Thanks for visiting me earlier, I’m glad you did 🙂

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:28 PM

      Thank you! I’m glad you came by.

  9. May 29, 2010 5:05 PM

    I too hate that designers thing that only women smaller then a size 10 can wear cute clothes. ugh!

    following from lady blogger.

    Liz @ http://www.housekeepinginprogress.com

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:27 PM

      It REALLY hacks me off as they make most things up to a 16-which I actually think makes it worse then if they just made everything up to a 10.

  10. May 29, 2010 7:49 PM

    A belated Friday flip-off to the grocery store clerk who guessed my daughter was 7. She is 11, and all kinds of crabby at you.

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:26 PM

      WHY do people have to guess? When my sister and I were little people thought we were boys just because we had short hair.

  11. May 30, 2010 12:17 PM

    I call the airport, the amateur roadway because of all the fool drivers that lurk around every corner.

    You showed a lot of grace and class not giving your biggest finger to certain bloggers who deserved it.

    And I love my Gigi girl. she’s the best.

    Here’s my flipoff: To the bitch at the park who came over to me and my labradoodle puppies and lectured me about being “part of society’s problem” when it comes to overpopulation of animals, I say flip-off. To bad there’s not a termination program for assholes who don’t know how to keep their rude opinions to themselves.

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:26 PM

      Thanks again! When I was in high school-I “nannied” for two little girls. Basically that meant I sat by the pool lots. One of the girls was 2 and really did look lots like me and a man came over and told me I was what was wrong with the world-teenage pregnancy and all that.

  12. May 31, 2010 8:47 AM

    I wonder how people actually make it to adulthood sometimes… You would probably enjoy my husband’s adventure at Walmart the other day. If you want, you can read it http://www.gospelwitnessfarm.com/2010/05/20-items-or-less-no-exceptions.html
    I am here from the Lady’s Blogger Society.

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:23 PM

      Thanks for stopping by! I’ll check it out.

  13. May 31, 2010 8:51 AM

    Love this 🙂 We all need this is as a coping mechanism. I do the same too! But not every Friday. ha ha ha

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:23 PM

      I actually hadn’t done it before and was going to do a feel good friday thing a friend does but figured crabbier works better for me.

  14. May 31, 2010 9:16 AM

    Oh, these are hilarious. What the hell is up with the pedophile greeters? We encounter them everywhere. They want to put their arms around my son’s neck and rub my daughter’s legs (as she sits in the basket still). UGH. I literally have to say, “We don’t touch.” And then they act like I’ve morally offended them. Whatevs.

    Also? I can’t believe you paid $30 for a cookie. (This is where I admit I’d totally pay $30 for a cookie but didn’t know there were others like me.)

    • amyblam permalink*
      June 1, 2010 3:22 PM

      It was a big cookie cake but still kindof ridiculous but yum!

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