Friday Flip-Offs 6/11

So here is my latest edition of Friday Flip-Offs. Gigi at Kludgy Mom, who birthed this awesome idea, has a linky on her site with all the peeps participating. I don’t know how to use linky things, so go there.

This week I’d like to flip-off my body. Seriously you are pissing me off. With all the exercising and eating well and drinking water, which I hate more than anything, it would be awesome if just a few lbs would drop off. I’m taking vitamins, sleeping 10 hours a night and generally just being more healthy. You are once again making me long to have my “not cancer but crazy diseased with something” thyroid slapped back in because, other than the huge growth, I appreciated that my thyroid issues afforded me the ability to be able to eat everything and still maintain 93 pounds.

Parents of 99% of the children in Target or anywhere else. No, it is not cute when your child stands and screams at the top of their lungs or knocks things off shelves or runs around and almost trips me 84 times. Nicer people would smile and tell you it’s okay. Not me lady. I wasn’t really kidding in Sams when I said you should duct tape your child into the cart. And possibly muzzle then. And whispering to please stop or ignoring it isn’t making you look sweet, it’s making you look like a moron. If I am whispering in bratchild’s ear in public, it’s usually something like, “If you don’t stop that right now I am going to break your leg off and beat you with it. If you don’t have money to buy something, which you don’t, you don’t touch it. Now shape up or we will won’t go to the pool/play the wii/let you out of the basement.”

The weather is still on my shit list. I need some consistent weather reporting. And sun on this body before I go to Mexico and fry like bacon which just made me laugh and think of Parker Posey in “Dazed and Confused.”

People who are “too busy” to spend 5 minutes getting me information I need but spend DAYS updating facebook pages and pictures.

Many of the new sales associates at Belk. Ummm, really? I’m carrying around an ARMFUL of Lilly Pulitzer clothing and no one wants to wait on me? When I worked retail, we a. got commission and b. had our sales tracked. I’m an easy sale people. I don’t need help, I’m usually ready to just be rung up and I almost never return things.

To people that don’t listen and don’t get that I work part-time. If I tell you that I work part-time and am not often in the office to check voicemail and that email is the BEST way to reach me because it comes to my phone-leaving me 6 upset voicemails from Friday at 6pm to Monday at 9am isn’t going to be very productive. Especially when I tell  you on Thursday that I won’t be in again until Monday some time but that I am more than happy to respond to your email-even on the weekend.

Anything hacked off you guys this week?

© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.