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Somebody (My first ever guest poster!)

August 5, 2010

As you read this I am winging my way to NYC for BlogHer 2010…and shoes and Sephora and Wicked. But mainly BlogHer. Since I will be so crazy busy, I wanted to leave you guys something AWESOME to read.

One of my MOST favorite somebodies crafted a guest post just for you guys. Ericka from Alabaster Cow is my FIRST guest poster which is fitting because she was one of my first bloggy friends. She is hilarious. Please check out her site and add her to your reader or subscribe. She’s always making me spew drinks out of my nose but I particularly love her Stick Figure Saturday.

So comment below and thank her for helping me out and then head on over. She’ll ask you to come for the gin but will talk you into staying for the crazy. And you should.

I am somebody at the eye doctor’s.

I look forward to my yearly visit not because they tell me my eyes are in fact not rotting out of my head or because I get to receive a spray of air right to the pupil but because I get to brag about my “profession.”

assistant:  “All right i’m just gonna have you sit right here and we’re going to take a map of your eye to make sure everything’s working in tip top shape.  So do you work?”  (Ah, the “do you work question?”).

me:  No, not currently.  (I’m working my kiegels as to not piss myself because i know what the next question will be).

assistant: Do you have any hobbies?  Something you like to do in your spare time? (Kiegels working overtime and my heart is racing now).

me:  Well, I write…

assistant:  No…no, get out of here.  You write?  I mean like you spell out words and put them together to make phrases?

Me: (blushing) Well, yeah…I’m working on my third manuscript.

Assistant:  Your third manuscript???  As in you’ve written other things??  That’s like a million phrases!

Me:  Something like that.  I also blog.

Assistant:  Get.  Out.  Of.  Town.  A blogger and a writer?  Janice, hey Janice get in here!!

Janice:  Yeah?  What do you want?

Assistant:  Guess what this lady does.  You don’t even need to guess because you won’t be able to.

Janice:  Ok, then just tell me.

Assistant:  She’s a writer.

Janice:  No shit!  Like you put together words and make phrases and shit?

Me:  Yes, but…

Assistant:  And  guess what else!  Wait, don’t because you won’t guess this either.  She’s a blogger!

Janice:  A blogger??  As in you took the time to purchase a domain name and now put phrases on the internet like a gazillion other schmucks???  Wait one second, Chris!  Chris get in here!

And it goes like this for roughly forty-five more minutes.  By the time Estelle gets in the room I start to get claustrophobic and quite hungry.  I thank them all and tell them I’ll certainly sign their scrubs right after the doc takes a look at my eyeballs.  They all shuffle out except for Louis who lingers behind and hands me a rough draft of his four-hundred page memoir , asking me to pass it along to my people.  I nod and oblige him because I, too, remember what it was like to be a nobody.

So head on over to the MOST fabulous Alabaster Cow . Nowish is good. Also? PLEASE forgive me if I’m a bit behind on the comment follow-up. I’ll probably be catching up on that Monday. I’ll try to post some while I am there and will give you all a FULL follow-up. Pinky swear.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 5, 2010 10:22 AM

    I finally make it over for a visit…and you aren’t here! But to my delight, I find Ericka! Yay! It’s a good day 🙂

  2. August 5, 2010 8:59 PM

    it is a good day natalie 🙂 glad you enjoyed the post!

  3. August 6, 2010 1:07 PM

    Yay, I love Alabaster Cow! Will head over now to see what’s going on in that neck o’ the woods.

    This is very funny. Why is it that when someone knows you write, they try to pass on their work to you? This happened to me in a bar recently and I really had to refrain from saying, “hey buddy… we’re ALL trying to get published!” But instead I said, “Sure! I’d love to take a look at your 500-page TV show pilot!”

    That’s because I’m a SUCKA!

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