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Friday Flip-Offs 10/1

October 1, 2010

 Who else is glad it’s Friday? And fall? Fall is by FAR my fave season. Can’t wait to get started on my Halloween yard event!

Anyhoo, I’m flipping this Friday and you can visit Momma Kiss to check out the other flipper offers.

 Ten battering ram middle fingers go to the carpool line at bratchild’s school. It drives me insane. You have to go EARLY as there are women with nothing better to do than fight over who is first in the carpool line and if you go late, you’re one of the last to pick up your kid which is just sad.

Seriously, some of these biatches get there an HOUR before school lets out and then they roam around the neighborhood and walk their dogs and chit-chat. In addition to being annoying, it’s a safety issue. What if there was an emergency and fire trucks/police cars/ambulances need to get to the school? Oh, that’s right-THEY CAN’T because of dumbasses that line up their cars and leave.

I’m also flipping off the newsletter bratchild’s teacher puts out. Correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t teachers, I don’t know, supposed to TEACH kids to spell? Not say, use knews for news and uze for use in attempt to be cutesy? Ya’ll have NO idea how much this annoys me. I hate cutesy, especially when it’s stupid.

I’d like to give two perky middle fingers wrapped in $55 EACH to the PTA at bratchild’s school and their please give us cash fundraising efforts. I’ve said many times that I’d rather write a check than sell shit door to door but I didn’t expect that check to come in the form of “bills” for $110 PER CHILD.

What was wrong with the fun runs and such where the children collected pledges for how many laps they ran? Way to teach kids just to sit on their asses and wait for people to hand out shit. Why should they WORK for something? Of course, I’m also one of the hateful bitches that doesn’t think kids should get awards or trophies just for showing up. Let’s teach them value and earning things. And SERIOUSLY?  If you had five kids, that’s $550 you’re supposed to be donating to the school.

One hundred dagger covered wrapped in barbwire middle fingers go to J’s ex-wife just for being an all around horrible/miserable/crazy not in a fun way/worthless human being. (I don’t think that of very many people) In fact, that witch moved in next door to crazy, tunneled her ass in, remodeled, kicked out the current owners and outlined that shit in neon. And then probably lied about it and said she’d always been there.

I’m going to give a pink sparkle HALF middle finger to SITS. I’m torn on this because I love the group (hence the pink, sparkles, and only a half) and am SUPER excited about their tribe thing (and I think the deadline to sign up has passed so a middle finger to MOI for just now sharing it.)

But THIS is what I have a problem with: “Please make sure that the posts you submit are free of offensive language, pictures, etc. We are a family-friendly site.” That can be found on their form where you request to be a featured blogger. On the previous page it says: “When it’s your turn to be the Featured Blogger, remove any profanity from your featured posts.  (We’re only interested in the posts we are featuring, not your entire blog.)  You can easily substitute cleaner language for a few days and then return to your original content.

I don’t have as MUCH problem with the second sentence I copied and pasted. I can possibly see how they would want people to clean up their post before they feature it and email it to a bazillion people. But cleaning it up before it’s even chosen? That’s a waste of time. And seriously?

 First, define offensive. Ass, shit, fuck? Any or all of those? Second, way to perpetuate the myth that mom bloggers are prissy little people that don’t swear or have sex or relax and have a margarita. Third, is somebody really letting their kids read the SITS site?

There are certain things I CHOOSE not to read or look at-because I find it offensive/disturbing/annoying/whiny. But shouldn’t I have the right to make that choice for myself? I mean, maybe put a disclaimer like hey, this chick says fuck 1-3 times in 88% of her posts. Read at your own risk.

And I guess this half flip has turned into a rant but it just drives me nuts. My stand on ALMOST everything is if you are not hurting someone that can’t stop it, defend themselves or say no (children, animals, someone you’re holding captive in your basement as you search for a hitman) I don’t care WHAT you do. Want to look at porn of five guys having consensual sex with one chick? Have at it. If I don’t like it? I don’t have to look. That’s sort of what freedom and freedom of speech and expression are all about-despite the attempts of some politicians to chip away at our freedoms, we currently still have them. So I say celebrate it rather than asking people to censor themselves.

P.S. I totally realize I just FUCKED myself out of any chance of being a featured blogger there, which stinks but I’m not going to change myself to fit somebody else’s mold-in any case, not just this one.

And you know what? If you don’t like something you find on the internet-google is a super easy way to find something you do.

*stepping off random, only mildly provoked soapbox*

Think I’m wrong, right, a complete whackjob? Participating in the flips? Want to just share what pissed you off this week in my comments? I’m totally cool with any, or all, of those that float your boat.

© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


23 Comments leave one →
  1. October 1, 2010 3:58 AM

    Don’t even get me started about the parking lot after schoo. Who has time to wait an hour to get a good spot to pick up there kid? Hate it!! Great FLIPS!!

    • October 1, 2010 3:58 AM

      I swear I can spell! lol!

      • amyblam permalink*
        October 12, 2010 7:06 PM

        A parking lot? Yikes!

  2. October 1, 2010 4:17 AM

    I can see I have a thing, or two or 10 to learn from you about Friday Flip Offs!! Love it!!:) And the carpool?? OMG!! Although I have been guilty of it once or twice, I always stayed in my car. Nicely knitting or reading. Is that good or bad??

    • amyblam permalink*
      October 12, 2010 7:07 PM

      Waiting in your car is fine-that’s what I do if I get there early. I sit and read.

  3. October 1, 2010 6:47 AM

    I’m with you on the newsletter! Teachers should really stay away from cutesy and do the jobs that they’re there for. No wonder so many kids cannot spell right!

    Aww, that’s too bad about the SITS regulations for featured bloggers. 😦 I mean, I don’t use any profanity on my blog but I certainly would not tell anyone not to do so as well. And although I generally stay away from people who use profanity way too much, I LOVE coming here to read your posts. Not that you use profanity too much, but you know what I mean. You’re right, people have the right to choose to hit the ‘x’ to close the tab if they don’t feel comfortable reading what’s presented to them.

    Now, I want to flip-off the water services here in the Philippines for shutting down one of the dams for repairs and maintenance (although it was necessary) – as a result, we had no water supply for 3 whole days!

    • amyblam permalink*
      October 12, 2010 7:23 PM

      Yeah…I’m still bummed about the SITS thing. I won’t even apply to be featured now. 😦

  4. October 1, 2010 7:00 AM

    ooohhh i LOVE how you bling up the fingers!!!! LOL

  5. October 1, 2010 7:27 AM

    Damn! don’t even get me started on the car line issue. If you can see and experience what I am going through over here then your whole situation is like nothing. Imagine living only 3 minutes from the school and yet it now takes me 1 hour to pick up my daughter because construction has now started right in front of the school. The county picked to start construction 2 weeks after school started INSTEAD of doing it over the summer break when there was no activity at the school. Ok, more on this in my Friday Flip-offs…I just don’t have time to sit down and write yet. But GREAT flip-offs this week!

  6. Allison C. permalink
    October 1, 2010 9:25 AM

    The $110 minimum donation is bogus. And, I am with you about working for it – trophies for nothing piss me off. I mean a trophy just for showing up? Might as well engrave it to say “Congrats for meeting the minimum requirements” Uh, WHAT?

    • amyblam permalink*
      October 12, 2010 7:09 PM

      Congrats on mediocrity. No need to try harder.

  7. October 1, 2010 10:12 AM

    I don’t know anyone that gets a paycheck very long just for showing up to work – the whole reason I put my kids in sports is to learn about team-work, good sportsmanship and that sometimes there are winners and LOSERS!

    Our bus system is so whacked out that the elementary kids are getting picked up an hour before school starts to take the intermediate kids to school first. And we live less than a mile from the school. So yes, I have to drive The Hare’s butt everyday now and wait in a ridiculously long drop-off line getting pissed at all the parents that “cheat”, park their cars and send their kids THROUGH the lot instead of driving to the drop-off spot. Really?

    Right there with you lady!

    – Emily

  8. October 1, 2010 1:39 PM

    Fucking Fantastic post!

    Ahhh, I swear too and I am always amazed at how some people are so offended by it. I have a good friend who has shit one time in her entire life! Personally, I think people can say much uglier and offensive things and not even use a swear word.

    I can’t believe you get billed at school! We have stupid fundraisers too and instead I do usually write a check directly to the school because I do not want some BS wrapping paper for $5.00 per sq/ft!

    I am always amazed at the parents after school too. People park in handicap spots or cut in front of you. Once this lady backed into me when I was stopped for the crossing guards. I guess she thought that by backing into my car I would move and therefore the crossing guards would hurry too.

    People are just rude. And then they have kids 😦

  9. October 1, 2010 2:43 PM

    OMG we have that same problem at the local school! and THEN the cars line up all the way down the street and block the fire dept apron/drive despite the huge signs saying not too. So, our fire boys cannot even get out of the fire house to get to the school that they cannot access from the street because of the mommies lined up for an hour. I give the ex-hubby credit, he pulled right up to inches from the side of the cars with the engine and yanked on that air horn til they moved and he didn’t care where they moved too just get the hell out of the way so the fire truck could leave!

    Language in blogs…freedom of speech…YA YOU! I am not able to be featured in a lot of places because sometimes I say fuck a lot. Oh well, their loss if they won’t feature you!!!!!

  10. October 1, 2010 3:35 PM

    my son is just five months and i am not looking forward to the drama from the PTA.

  11. October 1, 2010 5:29 PM

    I’m totally with you on the family friendly crap. People, keep your 6 year olds off the internet. 😉

    Great flips. 🙂

  12. thejoe permalink
    October 2, 2010 5:04 AM

    Love your middle finger and how you use that one finger. It’s almost as if you had hundreds of hands. Keep up the good battles!

  13. October 2, 2010 4:35 PM

    I agree about the teacher and the newsletter… how are you supposed to trust her to teach your child what is appropriate?

    I also hate being SENSORED! If you find my langage or opinions offense – don’t read my blog.

  14. October 3, 2010 2:09 PM

    Okay, way too funny.

    You actually got a fundraising BILL? Now that’s crass. I’m with you, selling crap door-to-door sucks, but at least do a walk-a-thon or something. Dang! And the carpool lane? Someone has to slap those people.

    I love the censoring bit. My blog is targeted at teens, so I do try to keep it clean. One day I used the word ‘slutty’ and got a little worried so I ran my posts through a filter. ‘Slutty’ was okay, but the filter had a real problem with another word I used a bit — ‘boobs.’ That’s right, ‘slutty’ is okay but ‘boobs’ is not. ARGH!! Think I’ll just call them ‘fun bags,’ instead. That’s not insulting at all.

  15. October 3, 2010 2:14 PM

    Okay, a fundraising bill? Now that’s just crass. As for the carpool crazies, they need a life.

    Gotta say, though, the bit on getting censored really spoke to me. My blog is for teens, so I try to keep it pretty clean. One day I used the word ‘slutty’ and got a little worried so I ran my blog posts through a filter. ‘Slutty?’ No problem. But it did have another problem with another word I used a lot: “Boobs.” Seriously? ‘Slutty’ is okay but ‘boobs’ isn’t? Argh! Maybe I should cave and just call them ‘fun bags.’ That’s not demeaning at all.

  16. October 4, 2010 3:45 PM

    I had no idea about the whole SITS-censoring thing. I really didn’t. But I definitely agree with you there. It’s a free country and we should feel entitled to include whatever we like in our blog. It’s the reason we do this in the first place, is it not? I guess my comment here means I also might be blacklisted, but that just doesn’t seem right. Especially for a group of female bloggers whose intent is to SUPPORT each other unconditionally (or am I reading into their creed wrong?).

    Spelling mistakes that are made on purpose drive me crazy to no end. I can’t understand how the school okays a newsletter like this getting out. What’s the point of securing a spot in the carpool lane? Just seems silly and, as you said, a fire/safety hazard. You should perhaps gently remind the other women of this the next time you see them line up.

  17. October 4, 2010 10:47 PM

    not gonna lie your half sparkly middle finger fucking RANT made me snort out loud. had no idea that was even part of their schtick. and clearly i’ll NEVER be a fb there. their loss 😉

    car line. bitches be crazy, that’s all I have to say.

  18. October 6, 2010 9:38 AM

    HA! One, huge fan of the Friday Flip off, and yeah, I drop the F bomb with REGULARITY! MommaKiss and I are really close so I to am in the same boat with the SITS girls. (Weird thing with this tribe thing: I got put in w/ food bloggers! I’ve written about food TWICE! SHEESH!) THANKS for giving me the format to rant. I needed that.

    So I’m just as conflicted as you are with whole wanting to promote my blog, be a part of a community but staying true to my voice.

    I use the F bomb.

    This is not the mouth I use when speaking to my daughter or in public…but its still mine!

    And I’ll take your word on the carpool. Homeschooling is looking more and more appealing.

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