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Friday Flip-offs 10/29

October 29, 2010

Today is fabulously fallish outside which makes me super crazy happy.

Visit Momma Kiss and see what other bloggy people are irked about this week.

Two sleeping with the lights on middle fingers to scary movies. I’m total wuss with an overactive imagination and a fear of shower curtains. Scary movies are a BAD idea for me. But sometimes I get sucked in…and then I have nightmares. And compulsive needs to leave the shower curtains open at all times and to check all closets and leave all the lights on.

Several transparent middle fingers go to tanning beds and their cancer causingness. I’m English/Welsh/Scotch. I couldn’t be whiter if I were actually Casper the Snarky ghost. I have hazel eyes, freckles and slightly auburn tinged hair-you can see THROUGH me. I LOVE being a tan, skin looks better and less dry and  when it’s tan. DAMN YOU tanning beds for causing skin cancer. I really need you right now.

Middle fingers racked with nausea and cramping go to wonton soup and ice cream cones. Et tu? Is EVERYTHING made of glutens. Last night I cheated and ate a cheeseburger-I’m still sick. I hate you glutens.

Middle fingers with forks taped to them goes to this waiter at Ruby Tuesday Ronda and I had a few weeks ago. Part of the reason we went to lunch there is because they don’t have bread. WRONG. They’ve added garlic cheese biscuits to the repertoire. I TOLD the waiter if he brought them to the table, I would stab him in the eyes. He thought I was kidding and carried some by the table wafting their garlic cheesy bready scent towards me and said “this is what you’re missing.” Hate him. LOTS.

Middle fingers dressed up as mummies and vampires go to Fall festivals. This is a HUGE thing in the South. Because half of us are going to hell and all. So the churches have “fall festivals.” Ummm…what’s that phrase if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck? If you have pumpkins and candy and costumes and is on/near Halloween-it’s a FUCKING HALLOWEEN PARTY. Changing the name doesn’t make you less of a hypocrite. Drives me batty.

Middle fingers that would like to be covered in Latisse are for my eyelashes. What the hell? When my tummy is sick, my eyelashes fall out like you wouldn’t believe. I’m terrified I’m going to wind up eyelashless. I need a doc to prescribe me some of that. Plus, the little girl that got to make out with Jordan Catalano is advertising them now so you KNOW that shit is good.

Fingers that have had their dreams of sparkles and dancing crushed by a has-been celebrity go to Jennifer Grey. You killed my dream. Stomped on it with your out of control whirling self. I decided LONG ago that when I became famous and then unfamous enough to be on Dancing With the Stars, I was going to do MY Paso Doble to Pink’s So What. NOW what am I going to dance to? Way to put other people in a corner Baby.

And lastly, ten little middle fingers worn out from typing go to Comments. The whole thing makes my head hurt. First? Momma Kiss reminded me how much I HATE word verification-turn that shit off and show some consideration for your readers. If you want comments-MAKE IT EASY. I delete hundreds of spam comments, it takes minutes.

Where I was really going with flipping off comments is this: I never know what to DO. I don’t usually respond to comments on my site because it makes me look like I have a ton of comments when half  of them are me, it knocks my REAL commenters off the little widget on the side AND I never remember to check back and see if someone replied to me-do people do that?

So I generally just respond with a comment on the commenter’s site. Thoughts on this, please?

What has your panties in a wad this Halloween weekend? What is your comment policy?

© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. October 29, 2010 6:06 AM

    I’m with you on the whole comment thing. If I don’t reply will they think I don’t read my comments; or worse will they the think I’m rude and did read it but ignored it? I’ve gone both ways but generally don’t reply unless someone asks a direct question. Depending on the post, I’ve also just gone back and posted another stand-alone comment instead of a direct reply to one individual. I’m sure I’m pissing someone off no matter what I do.

  2. October 29, 2010 6:07 AM

    LOL…I love it! First off, my Friday flip off goes to ALL the really bad drivers on RT. 4 in MD—stop trying to run me off the road when I’m in the slow lane going 64 and have children in the car!!!!!!! It’s not worth endangering me or my children, when I still pull up next to you at the red light three seconds later! My second flip off—to the red light that I just pulled up next to the wanker at—hello…why does it take two minutes to change when there’s nobody else here? Now I have to avoid looking at the person I just flipped off a few seconds ago!

    Second, I just started a blog and have no idea how to comment back, except for adding a comment on my own page?? This is how little I know about it still…I got all excited because I had 106 page views….guess who most of them were from??? Yeah, me! I didn’t know that everytime I went on to my own page, the number increased….so, sorry, but can’t help you with the comment thing, but let me know when you find out please 🙂

  3. October 29, 2010 6:08 AM

    If this shows up twice, sorry. I hit submit and then it disappeared.

    I’m with you on the comments thing. If I don’t reply to every comment will people think I don’t read their comments; or worse will they think I did read them and just ignored them? I’ve done it both ways, but have generally decided to not reply to each individual comment unless they ask me a direct question. Sometimes, depending on the topic and replies, I’ll post a new comment addressing everything rather than reply individually. I’m sure no matter which way I do it, I’m pissing someone off.

  4. October 29, 2010 6:56 AM

    I am right there with you on the FALL FESTIVAL mess! Irks me to no end! Just call it what it is…and it’s HALLOWEEN!
    Not like I ever get a heaping ton of comments but I usually just try to visit the commenters blog and comment on their last post too or IF they have an email and aren’t a “no reply” blogger, I’ll sometimes respond via email.

  5. October 29, 2010 6:56 AM

    Okay, I’m gonna try this again cause I after I hit submit my comment went “poof” so if you end up getting in twice, my apologies.

    What I said was…

    I am so with you on that “Fall Festival” mess and I didn’t even know it was just a southern thing. Is it? Anyway, drives me freakin’ nuts! Just call it what it is and it’s HALLOWEEN!

    And on the comments thing. Though not like a get a heaping ton of comments on an average day but the ones I do get I try to visit the commenters blog and comment on their last post and/or I will respond via email IF they are not a “no reply” blogger! But, then again, like I said, I’m not gettin a whole lot of comment love so if you do I realize that may get a little time consuming to do.

  6. Alysia permalink
    October 29, 2010 6:56 AM

    My Friday Flip-Off sends 2 soapy middle fingers to the Fairfield Inn Airport and two more soapy middle fingers to AirTran for putting me there because the hotel turned the water off unti 1 pm…IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SHOWER…WITHOUT POSTING A NOTICE…The one notice they did put out was for Thursday, October 28. I believe it is Friday, October 29! Well, the positive side is that at least it gave me time to sit here with towel wrapped soapy hair and read your flip-offs as the water won’t be back on for another 15 minutes!

  7. October 29, 2010 10:56 AM

    I get your pain with comments! I try to respond b/c I feel like the people who take the time to comment should be acknowledged. Then again, I get like 4 comments on a good day. 🙂 I guess it’s what works for you!

  8. October 29, 2010 11:39 AM

    Comments. The bane of my existence. I try to reply to everyone which is ridiculous and eating up all my precious time. I think I’m switching to your way starting now. And as for the word verification, I tell people to turn that shit off because some of the spams I get are just absolutely delightful. I’ve used two for blog fodder. I say, keep the spam coming.

    And I am your ghostly sister, here. Another good thing about tans, they hide the jiggly flab better. Oh how I wish I was George Hamilton.

  9. October 29, 2010 5:31 PM

    My whole post today was one, long rant if you want to know what’s got my knickers in a twist. But in short, EVERYTHING. Also? The movie Sixteen Candles. I love it but I hate it because really? That shit never happens in real life. Also? You should totally go back to Ruby Tuesday’s and stab that waiter in the shin. Hard. And then trip him. Because he was just a giant douche.

  10. October 29, 2010 7:35 PM

    Ah yes, the southern Fall Festivals full of Haunted Woods. I went to college in Nashville, yep another notch on the Bible Belt and though the Christians didn’t seem to worked up about Halloween, it was the Jehovah’s witnesses and others who freaked out. Their children were told to turn away when someone at school had any pictures of anything Halloween oriented except pumpkins. I student taught in the fall of 1995, so I experienced all that lunacy first hand. That was right at the beginning of everyone going bananas over not offending anyone.

  11. October 30, 2010 10:23 AM

    Fall Festivals are foolish…but why in the world can the schools have Halloween parties but only Holiday Parties at Christmas. How did the witches manage to get their holiday celebrated in public school? LOL – really just kidding you know. As far as the comment thing – well, I try to either comment on their site too – OR – I send them a personal email, because yes, I learned early on that I didn’t want a bunch of comments posted from myself.

    – Emily

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