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BLACK Friday Flip-Offs 11/26

November 26, 2010

I hope all of ya’ll, except for if people I don’t like are reading this, had a super happy AND THANKFUL Thanksgiving.

Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful FOR LOTS. Life is amazing but you know what? Not the most entertaining blog post. So I’m STILL taking part in BLACK Friday flip-offs.

And since I’m blissed out on turkey, red wine, (good) champagne and Benadryl-perhaps this will be interesting. Dear God, I just sounded like a cry for help…

Two feathered middle fingers go to Ann Taylor. Really? I TRY so hard not to buy things there but you insist on sending me like 3 of every coupon. And if I don’t come in? Someone calls me and reminds me. That’s what led to the purchase of the “extravagant ostrich feather skirt.” No really, that’s what THEY named it. With 30% off, I was powerless to resist.

Two surprisingly unbroken middle fingers go to ladders. Damn you and your safety issues and inability to work on tilty ground.

Middle fingers with a length issue go to icicle lights. Ummm…yeah. When your box says REALLY big that’s it’s 39.6 feet in lighted length and then in TEENY TINY print it clarifies that’s if you have so many sets linked together and the individual strings are only 13ish feet-that’s NOT helpful and not at all misleading. What’s even better? Discovering this while J is ON TOP of the roof waiting on lights.

Not sufficiently haunted middle fingers go to Lifetime Movie Network. You people REALLY dropped the ball at Halloween. Where were all the “spooky” movies? The I’ll Be Waiting for Yous and the Haunting of Sorority Rows? I expect you to bounce back with Christmas. ABC Family is ALREADY playing Christmas movies in anticipation of their 25 Days of Christmas. Take a cue from them.

Two whiny ass middle fingers go to the girls on America’s Next Top Model. Really? You have the CHANCE of a lifetime. You’re in Italy with a chance to meet designers, agencies, etc and you ALL give up after like one place because it’s “too hard.” Tyra SHOULD have flipped you all off and started over.

Two swan-less middle fingers go to Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I am still mourning the loss of the “real” Santa float-the one with swans and the like that you decided to replace last year. You don’t fuck with holiday traditions Macy’s. And that float? Was a BIG one.

Two middle fingers with cold nipples go to feetie pajamas. I saw some at Target the other day, for adults and kids, and then was reminded about it today when I was over at Kelley’s Break Room and she was talking about footed pajamas. Here’s the deal-LOVE feetie pajamas BUT if you don’t have the butt flap for easy urination? They’re NO good. Because then? You have to get all naked to pee and it’s COLD in winter which is the WHOLE POINT of fleecy footie pj’s and you end up with really cold boobs when you have to pee.

Two middle fingers missing vital ingredients go to recipes. Today I was making WHAT I THOUGHT was my broccoli cheese and rice casserole UNTIL I REALIZED that you were supposed to thaw the broccoli, cook the rice and use breadcrumbs (not Ritz crackers.) SO my casserole ended up being frozen broccoli topped with Ritz crackers. *sigh*

What’s got your gobble going this week? With cooking and holidays and family visits-I KNOW you all have got lovely little annoyances you’d like to share below.

© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. November 26, 2010 2:07 PM

    I’m not alone!! You rock. Thank you.

  2. November 26, 2010 7:11 PM

    Too funny! One of these days I’m gonna get my ass over to the States for Blog Her and then stay for Thanksgiving 😉 Hope that you had a good one!

  3. November 28, 2010 12:28 AM

    This list made me laugh! I was laughing and then I stopped when I saw my name. I thought…Amy is flipping me off. Waaaaaa!! But, then…I saw what you were talking about. I laughed at your comment about your boobs getting cold while your peeing in those footed pajamas sans butt flap. You’re crazy! I like it!

  4. November 28, 2010 4:54 PM

    Ahhh, Amy… How I love your flips 🙂

    I have never actually seen pajamas with buttflaps advertised anywhere. I didn’t know such a thing existed outside of Peter Pan and all the fairytales I read as a child. But yea–I agree. That doesn’t seem to make sense to make feetie pajamas without the buttflap. Perhaps you can send the retailers a pic of boob cutting glass for them to get the hint?

    I hate all these coupons I’m getting in the mail, too. I would never have any need for Victoria’s Secret sweaters but then I can get a free stuffed dog (something I also clearly don’t need) and suddenly, I want it all. I guess this explains why we’re all in credit card debt.

    Hope you had a very happy Thanksgiving 🙂

  5. November 29, 2010 12:59 AM

    Ann Taylor, those feisty feathered fingers are necessary. You’re so creative with your flips. I love it.

  6. December 1, 2010 10:30 AM

    My 3 year old has the same footie pj issue. So she pees then walks around naked, and chilly, the rest of the morning. Problem solved.

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