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Monday musings…on Thursday. Well, almost Friday

December 6, 2010

In fact, it may EVEN BE Friday where some of you are.

What can I say? I’ve been “off” this week. Migraines off and on and busy with work and prepping for Christmas.

So this is a random list of things I pondered while I was medicated Monday. The majority of it was typed then. Lots of it looked mainly like this:
WhhhYYy do peeps even watch Harpo? Not the marshmellow ones. She Booters me. Blah. Sned ME shtuff Harpo!!!

Clearly, I needed to do some clean up.

I love alliteration.

Some Christmas songs shouldn’t be remade. It should be illegal. Judy Garland did the BEST version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” No one else should attempt to record it. Period. I feel the same way about Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime.” It’s one of my fave Christmas songs. These newer versions? Are pathetic.

Who told Lady Gaga she could record Christmas songs? I love Le Gaga and I love holiday songs but this is an instance of never the two should meet. I am not enjoying hearing about how her “Christmas tree’s delicious” and something about taking off their clothes. If I were allowed to eat them, you would have ruined Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes for me.

I love “The Walking Dead.” What is up with the ending? What did the mad scientist whisper? Why are they such asshats and don’t do things like pick up weapons and such that are bound to be laying around near the dead army men. I’m glad J has been planning forever for the zombie apocalypse. I also think the blonde sister chick is infected.

I haven’t seen any zombies in high heels.

This weather is killing my skin. Even my boobs are ridiculously dry and itchy. I’m not enjoying this. I’d slather myself up in my baby oil gel but that J would say I smell like a stripper.

My blow up Mary is, in fact, very pregnant which is even more disturbing since Joe is apparently impotent and can’t reach a fully erect state. Neither can the palm tree. I’m so annoyed. My yard condoms need viagra.

Why do socks twirl around so much on your feet? I can’t stand it when the heel moves to the arch.

I love those All State commercials with the Mayhem Man. They really make me laugh. And no, it’s not the migraine meds-I think they’re funny normally.

Bridalplasty is strangely fascinating-but I thought Shana Moakler was a porn star which seems a little racy for VH1. Anyone?

My fave Christmas carols are the above two plus Good King Wensceslas, The Holly and the Ivy, Carol of the Bells, All I Want for Christmas is You, The Fairytale of New York, The Wonder Song and…that’s all I can think of right now.

I’m debating not sending Christmas cards this year…I don’t have time and really the only reason I want to send them is because I enjoy sending happy family shots to J’s ex-wife. Because I’m hateful. I don’t think holiday cards are supposed to be hateful. But maybe that’s why people always send fancy rhyming letters and braggy notes and perfect pictures?

What runs through your brain when you’re lounging about in pain? Fave Christmas tunes?

© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. December 10, 2010 12:05 AM

    Good Lord, girl! Who can think when you’re lounging around in pain? I just want to sleep it off! But I have missed you this week. Hope your migraine goes away and things slow down a bit for you. Have a good night!

  2. December 10, 2010 12:29 AM

    Lounging in pain does not equal Christmas carols for me…but my fav is one of yours – Carol of the Bells…especially the version by the Celtic Women

  3. December 10, 2010 11:40 AM

    I LOVE your erratic stream of consciousness. I think many of us blogger goddesses have that in common…with our without pain. I tell people that I regularly have about 3 different voices in my head who are on 3 totally different topics. Whoever is the loudest at the moment? That’s who gets air time. Unfortunately, none of my voices are very polite and they seldom wait for each other to finish with their thought so the end result is that I might start out talking about what to buy the teacher’s for Christmas this year, but I end with concerns about PDiddy changing his name so many times that I no longer know what to call him and John Mellencamp pulled the same shit many years ago and I don’t think it worked out so well for him because he sort of disappeared somewhere in Bloomington, Indiana where college kids get all excited every time they run into him at the mall and they all say how short he is in real life.

    Oh, by the way? I’m a new fan and I think you are great!

  4. December 10, 2010 4:13 PM

    haha..you made me laugh….hateful xmas cards.

    Hate to say it, but I know of which you speak.

    My fave posts of yours are the stream of consciousness ones.

  5. December 10, 2010 5:33 PM

    Haven’t seen BridalPlasty yet, but I fear once I do, I’ll be hooked, just as I am to Sister Wives, Toddlers in Tiaras, and Teen Pregnancies. If it’s trashy, I’ll over it!
    Sorry about your migraines, but those looked like some good drugs you were on…wanna share?

  6. Emily Smith permalink
    December 11, 2010 5:37 AM

    I’ve decided to only send e-cards this year; Christmas cards are just a pain in the ass.

  7. December 11, 2010 10:28 AM

    I totally watched Bridalplasty the other day and sadly I feel like I’m already addicted. Reality TV gets me every time.

  8. December 24, 2010 8:04 AM

    I LOVE your erratic stream of consciousness. I think many of us blogger goddesses have that in common…with our without pain. I tell people that I regularly have about 3 different voices in my head who are on 3 totally different topics. Whoever is the loudest at the moment? That’s who gets air time. Unfortunately, none of my voices are very polite and they seldom wait for each other to finish with their thought so the end result is that I might start out talking about what to buy the teacher’s for Christmas this year, but I end with concerns about PDiddy changing his name so many times that I no longer know what to call him and John Mellencamp pulled the same shit many years ago and I don’t think it worked out so well for him because he sort of disappeared somewhere in Bloomington, Indiana where college kids get all excited every time they run into him at the mall and they all say how short he is in real life. Oh, by the way? I’m a new fan and I think you are great!

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