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All I want for Christmas…

December 20, 2010

Well, I’ve already got my two front teeth so we’re set there.

And, I’ve been good this year. Well, better than before-but that’s not hard.

But dearest darlingest jolliest Santa and the missus, there are some things I would like.  See below. xoxo, Amy in Bama.

I promise to NOT back you cookies in exchange for dropping by the homestead. I feel NOT giving you food poisoning is the right thing to do.

First, I want this doohicky adaptor thing you can attach to the old iPad that lets you put in a media card. Perhaps then, I could learn how to use some photo editing thing I got from the app store.

Along those lines, I would enjoy iTunes gift cards.

I would also dearly love for you to wrap up some patience and slap a bow on it. I have none. I think even a smudge would be an improvement. Perhaps as a stocking stuffer?

As your reindeer are flying through my neighborhood, I would certainly appreciate it if you could see fit to let them punch some holes in the inflatables in a yard a few streets over. His uneven, unplanned display with multiple Santas (clearly there should be only one. I’m not kissing ass here.) did NOT really bother me UNTIL he went out and bought TWO of the exact same 12 foot Santa we have. Jerkhole. A little low flyby is really all I’m requesting.

I am NOT asking for a hit man this year since nobody has managed to stuff one in my stocking yet. I’ve decided, that perhaps, living in misery may be a better form of punishment. So if you’ve got some mob men locked up and covered in tinsel, you can release them.

I would like to ask for the FDA to significantly lower the weight requirement for lap bands.

A gift I would most appreciate would be forgiveness. Not for me but for me to be able to do it. If that makes sense. I’m not so good at the letting go, as is evidenced by my shoe collection. This is a large gift so if it won’t fit under the tree, I understand. You can leave it in the driveway.

I would adore it if Chuck and Blair got back together, pretty please with sparkle stars on top?

Cher’s legs are on the top of many wish lists I’m sure but I REALLY want them. Well…not her actual legs, that might make her little body suits problematic but I would like a pair crafted with elfin magic and attached to my body.

Perhaps the thing I wish for the most is happy holidays for you and yours. I hope you all have enough; love, laughter, christmas lights and whatever else your hearts desire.

What’s high on your wish list this year?

© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 20, 2010 9:26 PM

    Impressive list. I could use some patience. And elastic pants. More pants.

  2. December 20, 2010 10:04 PM

    Oh I’ll take some patience, too. And maybe to fine tune my ability to tune things out. I haven’t mastered that yet 😉

  3. December 21, 2010 9:56 AM

    Yeah, I’m not good in the patience or forgiveness department.

    But I’d still rather have an iPhone and an iPad.

    Thanks, Santa.

    merry christmas to you and your whole family, Amy. Thank you for making me laugh so much in 2010. 🙂

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