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Monday’s Friday Flip-Offs

February 6, 2011

Confused yet?

Well….me too. But that’s mainly because I’m on antibiotics and nighttime cold meds. Last night, I had to go to a black tie affair so I tossed in two glasses of red wine. Which actually helped me momentarily feel better.

So yes, I’m late.

Don’t punish the other fantastic flipper offers, check them out at Momma Kiss.

Two swollen painful middle fingers that are trying to recall why their owner refuses to have her tonsils removed go to strep throat. Middle fingers with bits of kleenex stuck to them go to the sinus infection that developed after the stress diagnosis. Most fun.

Frustrated middle fingers go to Clifford, aka the asshole dog. He’s very super sweet EXCEPT when J is out-of-town. When he was out-of-town last week, Clifford decided to seek out things of mine to pee on, yelled at me early in the morning and then decided running around eating snotty kleenex was a fun activity. Helpful.

Slippery middle fingers go to my front porch. My friend Ronda and I went to see Joan Rivers the other night. I’ve pretty much idolized her since I was 9 (Joan Rivers. Not Ronda. I haven’t known Ronda that long. Only since high school. And her first husband was my first real boyfriend. Not at the same time.) I can remember being home from school and watching her talk show and re-runs of Dark Shadows. (Opposites much?)

Anyhoo, Joan Rivers was in town and I didn’t get to meet her which I’m still sad about but furthermore, God/Old Man Winter/Mother Nature/Jack Frost or someone does NOT want me to take part in cultural events. When we went to see Legally Blonde a few weeks ago? SNOWMYGOD happened and we had to leave early. It got super freaky cold when Ms. Joan Rivers came to town also. As we walked through the parking lot, ice was on all the cars. When I got home? My front porch was ice and I fell. Ouch.

Sticky middle fingers go to Jello No Bake stuff. Ummm…could you BE more difficult to make with your melted butter mixed with oreo crumbs that are supposed to be evenly smushed into a pie crust? I was pretending NOT to be allergic to the glutens and we made one. I decided to NOT be allergic to glutens the next day when I went to Peggy Ann Bakery and bought a heart-shaped petit four. I was really sick the next day but that petit four was so damn good it WAS temporarily worth it. Let’s flip off food allergies as well, shall we?

Also? When I went to the doc I was hoping for Latisse and left with a strep test and diagnosis. So screw you Clare Danes and your amazing lashes.

Planning on feeling much more better and getting back on schedule soon.

What irked you this week? Anything push you over the edge this weekend? Also? Go Steelers!

© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 6, 2011 8:10 PM

    I love your flip offs. I also love that you named your dog Clifford. I am sorry you have Strep. I have to say that for the most part I am completely unirked this weekend. Isn’t that irksome? You can flip me off if you’d like…I’d consider it an honor.

  2. February 7, 2011 6:51 AM

    yuck- strep and sinus infection here too!! Poop on being sick!
    Fell better soon-oh and I left you a little love and linky on my blog this morning!

  3. February 7, 2011 5:35 PM

    strep totally kicks my ASS! But you get good meds with it. This ice everywhere? holy hell, it’s making me nutty.


  4. February 8, 2011 10:34 AM

    Oh, no! I hope you feel better soon, Amy! That’s a lot of sucky things all at once. I hope we’re over this ice and snow soon! I’m glad you were able to see your idol at least and hope you get to meet her the next time! (I love her, too).

  5. February 8, 2011 6:23 PM

    Feel better, my friend! I was rooting for the Packers, but only because I like cheese.

    My flip off would go to the burr bushes outside my house. Evidently, it’s burr season and every time my dogs go outside they come in with burr coats and I get to pull all those little mother fu**kers off their coats.

    I would also like to flip off the upcoming soccer tournament my daughter has. Who decided soccer tournaments were “fun”. Saturday and Sunday games at 8:00 am and then more games in the afternoon. Who the hell decided we needed something called a tournament. Screw soccer.

  6. February 8, 2011 6:23 PM

    Also, evidently I don’t know how to use a question mark.

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