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The heat is on…the back of my thighs

June 14, 2011

Before I begin, I should let you know that yes, I am aware that I live in Alabama. I am familiar with the concept of being hot and I even understand that leather can become quite warm. I also know that summer is known for being warmish.

HOWEVER, when J brought home a 1997 Collector’s Edition Landcruiser, well I was smitten. Which never happens. I am not a car person. I was so smitten that I claimed it, sold my more reliable Jeep Liberty and began beebopping around town. And concerns about leather seats were pushed from my mind. Love does make us do silly things, doesn’t it?

I should warn you, for some reason guys find my Landcruiser extremely hot. I’ve had a guy slow down in traffic to get beside me and talk to me abot the car. I’ve been approached in parking lots with questions and the number of men winking, blowing kisses and making pornographic gestures has gone off the charts.

If you’re single, you might want to consider picking one up. But remember: with great power comes great responsibility. (And if you end up with a plethora of little old Hispanic men wagging their tongues at you rather than a hot outdoorsy guy, well I can’t be held responsible.)

But the point is this: Leather seats? They get hot. Blisteringly hot. And since my chosen summer attire is swimsuits and Lilly skirts and dresses this is a problem.

You know how they say you forget the pain of childbirth? (I didn’t.) My seats are like that except in this case I DO actually forget how hot they can be.

I hop in the car, sit down, scream in pain and then do this weird on my tippy-toes arching my back, ass in the air with my head thrown back whilst bouncing and moaning as I attempt to turn on the car and most importantly, blast the air conditioner. (Upon further review, perhaps this display is the cause of the increase in pornographic gestures?)

I am going to quit using temperatures to rate the heat and will instead rely on the severity of the burns on the back of my thighs. By looking outside, I am predicting a second degree burn kind of day.

I am open to practical suggestions on how to quit injuring myself with my car’s seats.

Spellcheck wants to replace beebopping with beekeeping, that tickles me for some reason.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. June 14, 2011 9:19 AM

    Have you tried one of those windshield reflector things that keeps the sun from heating up the car so much? I have cloth seats, but my steering wheel would get so hot I’d drive the first 5 minutes with just my fingernails so as not to permanently burn off my finger prints. On second thought, if I ever decide to lead a life of crime, I’ll ditch the reflector thing.

  2. June 14, 2011 9:31 AM

    My mother always buys a bath towel close to the same color of the seats and tucks it around. Works… you do end up with that weird towel print on your legs but… they aren’t burnt!

  3. June 14, 2011 10:36 AM

    I was going to suggest the towel – or a white pillow case – less ‘fabric print’

  4. June 14, 2011 11:06 AM

    I just discovered your blog; hilarious! I concur with the matching towel thing.

  5. June 14, 2011 11:33 AM

    Oh sure seat covers are a good idea. A better one: a camera to film the hot seat dance…and then seat covers.

    Just a thought.

  6. Victoria Cumbow permalink
    June 14, 2011 1:01 PM

    A towel silly. Just leave a towel in your car to put in your seat.

  7. June 15, 2011 11:59 AM

    Amy Beth,
    yes, quit airhumping and I am sure that you will see a decrease in pornographic gestures. 🙂 BAHAHA

  8. June 19, 2011 11:16 AM

    GAH! That sounds incredibly painful. I would also suggest keeping a towel or small pillow on your seats.

    As a single gal, I’ll also have to consider picking up this car. Simply for research purposes 😉

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