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Just to be clear: a flag on your whoha is NOT patriotic

July 5, 2011

There are lots of things that annoy the shit out of me. There are lots of things I love: champagne, shaving with a new razor, clean sheets, shiny stuff. But up there on my pet-peeve list is this: American flags as clothing, particularly bathing suits.

I have tweeted at length about this but decided it was time to wrap up my opinions in a shiny little NON-American flag printed bow and share them with you here.

Yesterday, I went to the paper and three hours into working on a holiday, I realized my deadline was today. So I went to Target. And was greeted by this:

Now, I didn’t say anything at the time because a. I found some really cute Nick and Nora pj’s, b. I found no panty line promise underwear and c. I really needed the pasta salad ingredients I had in my cart. (Really it was the pj’s and underwear though. These pj’s are definately not pitching a fit worthy.)

Plus, Target and I have had our differences in the past so I decided to be quiet. For a change. It was a holiday after all.

But here’s the thing: the American flag isn’t even supposed to touch the ground and you know how the people handling the flag are always wearing gloves? It’s a respect thing. If people have to wear gloves to touch the flag-I am pretty sure rubbing your vagina on it is NOT OKAY.

I am all for freedoms and thankful for those that have fought and died to protect them. But perhaps instead of enacting a girls gone wild type escapade while chugging beer from a funnel-you wear something other than our nation’s colors. A corona bikini perhaps. Or something airbrushed.

Men, this goes for you too. Please don’t wear flag swimtrunks and have your butt and wobbly bits defiling the flag.

By all means. Celebrate. On a boat. With beer. With fireworks and sparklers. (By the way, I don’t consider sparklers to be a firework but my hubs says the Federal Government says I’m wrong. I KNEW I didn’t like them. The Federal Government, not sparklers. I love sparklers.) Cook out and hang out with your friends, but for the love of waffles and apple pie-do NOT prance around in an American Flag bathing ensemble. I can’t take it.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. July 5, 2011 12:20 PM

    OH I love N&N jammies, have many pair!!!!

    Agree, so tired of seeing the flag as clothing of any kind.

  2. July 5, 2011 2:58 PM

    Nick and Nora jammies – they complete me. For every season!

    This hear flag, to cover the cooch? Not cool. AT all. And I would have surely guessed you were at Walmart taking that picture, not The Targhay.

  3. July 13, 2011 4:17 PM

    No flag bathing suits or Budweiser bathing suits..completely unrelated, but both equally offensive.

  4. July 19, 2011 11:00 AM

    Yea, definitely not a fan of this look either.

  5. July 22, 2011 11:58 AM

    I completely agree. I’m Canadian, but same thing, I don’t need to see some chick’s butt covered in a maple leaf. And now thanks to you, I know the proper spelling of whoha!

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