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Nothing says Christmas like shoving lights up plastic bottoms

December 9, 2011

You all know I am a little bit all about the Christmas Decor. Compulsive. Obsessive. Unreasonable. These are words other people would use. I prefer enthusiastic.

Some of you may recall my baby Jesus/pregnant Mary/Jesus had an older brother/immaculate conception issues when it came to last year’s inflatable Nativity scene. And that Joseph had some sort of dysfunction as he just couldn’t get up. I’m still searching for a Joe that is willing to become fully erect and doesn’t have motor issues.

I was happy with my super big-headed Baby Jesus but it didn’t quite satiate my cravings for plastic people. For YEARS-I have been coveting those plastic Blow-Mold ginormous tacky as all sin lighted Nativity sets. I would even build them a little stable-if I were allowed to use power tools-and put a bazillion white lights on them.

This set of life-size plastic peeps is on-sale for $504. That’s a lot. And where do you store this life-size menagerie? I guess they could live in the dining room-placed around the table like an on-going festive plastic dinner party…

Since I was not willing to shell out the cash-or the storage space-imagine my delight this summer when I found a Holy Family on the side of the road. They were not life-size but they WERE tacky so I was half-way there and in this case, that’s good enough. (Sidenote: Who puts the Holy Family out on the curb? I have a collection of palm crosses I can’t throw away because they are supposed to be turned to ash at church-I’m sure not going to put BABY JESUS out on the side of the road with the bad asparagus.)

My found/rescued Holy Family didn’t have lights with them and as J and I were working on decorations we had this conversation:

Me: Sometimes I am amazed with how smart I am!
J: Because you thought to shove lights up the butt of the Baby Jesus?
Me: Well, yes. But not up HIS butt. That would be wrong-just inside Mary and Jo and in his haybed.

And then my sister came over and we had a similar conversation except she said “Nothing says Christmas like shoving lights up the butts of the Holy Family.”

And that’s true. So Merry Christmas! (16 days away!)

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. December 9, 2011 2:43 PM

    That’s genius. Jesus would want you to recycle, after all. Now I’m feeling the need to find a nativity set for my mantel…

  2. Pamela Lloyd permalink
    December 10, 2011 1:10 PM

    Delightful, one of your best. And, I am so glad you rescued the Holy Family – imagine putting them out on the curb as trash. Says alot about that house, doesn’t it?

  3. December 11, 2011 9:59 PM

    This made my laugh from the title alone because we have ornaments that require lights to be put up the rears of some fairies. This post cracks me up!

  4. December 13, 2011 1:59 PM

    Pee my pants funny girlfriend! I finally figured out how to add google reader to my phone so hopefully now I won’t miss any more of your HILARIOUS posts! So glad you are enjoying the holiday spirit.

  5. December 16, 2011 8:49 AM

    Hi Amy, Just a heads up that I gave you the Versatile Blogger Award. Don’t shoot me please; it’s a big pile of work!

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