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I am the Postal Carrier of the Halloween Craft World

September 19, 2012

Neither monsoon nor heat nor gloom of night nor too small car nor inappropriate wardrobe choices nor ban from power tools and sharp objects shall keep this crafter from her appointed mess-making.

Monsoon season came to Huntsville Monday. As I picked bratchild up from school, the bottom fell out and we were engulfed in what one weather-watcher dubbed “frog-strangling rains.” I found myself in need of a giant cardboard tube, big ass cardboard boxes and foam sheet insulation along with the foam that I couldn’t recall its name but described it to the helpful Home Depot staff through a mixture of chipmunk cheeks, Stay Puft Marshmallow Man movements and whoosh, whoosh whoosh sounds. My impromptu game of construction charades led them to deduce that I needed Great Stuff Expandable Foam.

Because I am not allowed to use power tools, wood was out of the question for creating a coffin and the witch cutout as seen on Martha Stewart. (I’m sure Martha is allowed to use power tools or at the very least has minions.) Mine is going to be slightly different from the below as I am making two witches and a cauldron.

I decided to create my coffin, witch et al from 4 foot by 8 foot sheets of foam insulation that I would spray paint. (Regular styrofoam can’t be spray painted but I am pretty sure this kind can be.) Cut to Bratchild and I staring at the sheets of insulation. I was convinced they would fit in my car, Bratchild said they wouldn’t and I should call Poppy (my dad) since J was at work. When I called to ask what he was doing, he wanted to know why and when I asked him to come to Home Depot, he muttered and hung up the phone. Note: he wasn’t being mean when he hung up the phone, several people in my family just end conversations that way. (Turns out Bratchild was right and the sheets barely fit in my dad’s SUV/truck thing. In addition to lettering and bow tying, I also fail at dimensions.)

So, still in the pouring rain, we were loading insulation sheets, big ass cardboard boxes and a 12-inch diameter four-foot long tube PLUS spray paint and Great Stuff. No one was particularly happy with me. After telling me he was changing his number, dad took Bratchild in his car while I swam back to mine.

The result? A fashionable look I call drowned rat OR strangled frog. (My Lilly Pulitzer Murfee pictured below, coincidentally, is one with frogs in the print.)

In other news, I broke out the Great Stuff Expandable Foam last night and it is SO MUCH FUN.

One Comment leave one →
  1. September 23, 2012 8:18 AM

    Lol! I just found your blog from the AlphaStamps site, and I love your sense of humor! You’re like The Bloggess of crafting ( if you haven’t checked her out, she’s a riot). Anyway, keep wielding that glue gun on behalf of us snarky mommies trying to “just-finish-this-craft-please-just-go-watch-t.v.-for-five-minutes-omg-you can-get-your-own-glass-of-juice”.

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